Distance (ROUGH! FEEDBACK PLEASE!)

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As defined, distance can be between 2 times
As in the distance between the moment I decide to kiss you and the moment you decide to kiss me back
So slight we hardly notice it
Except that one time
In Jack in the Box
When you refused to lend me ur lips to taste and it all seemed like a game but really....
That thought scared the shit out of me.
We sat there for hours laughing as I held your nose in an attempt to claim a kiss in the split seconds you struggled for breath
The speaker box of a spoken word artist gaping for a time almost as slight as the distance between those decisions
All I wanted was to use my saliva to leave my love behind
Behind, firstly, as in after our lips parted…after my car left your driveway
And behind, secondly, as in behind your cheeks
Inside the sacred temple that is your mouth
Where words boil 2gether and trade connotations for contexts and we end up with painfully delicious depictions of the world as seen by a genius
Your mouth is more of a melting pot than my blood line

The distance between my great great great great grandfather who got on that boat from Germany as a Jew and got off as a Protestant and I who won't even sacrifice my religion for love.

Proof that distance can also be between beliefs.
And this, too, is by definition.
In fact the dictionary gives the example "Our philosophies are a long distance apart."
As in, that one word:
His name,
Puts you a Grand Canyon’s walk away from me
And I don't have the heart to make that journey without you
And I would never ask you to walk that distance for me
So listen closely to what I'm about to request from you
For us
Can you believe in your heart that Jesus is God
And that when I say God I mean Jesus
Even if I don't know it.
I don’t have the heart to walk this distance without you
And I'm trying to beat on the keys of my phone to create some replacement rhythm but my battery can only last so long
The distance between that last breath you took and when I started holding your nose is too long
You need to breathe
And distance is supposed to give you the space to do that
But I don’t want you to have to breathe
Let me kiss you and like inexperienced exes pump carbon dioxide into your 3rd chamber of the organ that leads the choir of my body
But I never got past the C in CPR:
Cardio
My heart
Is hurting
And I know yours is too.
You love me
I know you do
And I know you love Him too
But I love you
And it looks to me like ur doing what you hate that they do
They hated in the name of Jesus
They hurt in the name of Jesus
They killed....
In the name of Jesus
I'm hating myself
In the name of Jesus.
You are hurting me
In the name of Jesus.
You're killing us...
In the name of Jesus.
And I don't have the heart to walk this distance without you but I would walk this journey on my hands with you
For us
I will come to you if only you would stop pushing me away
You're referencing the wrong Will Smith movie
You're Benjamin
As in the great souled Thomas
Not Hancock
Decreasing this distance will not make you weak

I thought you were God's treat to me
Apparently this was God, teasing me
His mirage built into the depths of this Grand Canyon
So when I was low and I thought I couldn’t get any lower
There was salvation
But the only soul salvation I really got
Was a portable foot massager in a church raffle

Non-believers r not worthy of feeling happiness
Just the temporary sensation of taste
And so I will savor the taste of your morning breath as my memory of unconditional companionship
Because loss is the glossy finish on the gates of my hell
When my dad was smoking crack he used to say,
"What the fuck do I care about going to hell? I've been to hell and back more than once. I've been broke as hell, cold as hell, high as hell, mad as hell, and everything in between."
And if this...
Losing you....
Is Earth....
Hell will be my vacation

Even the fact that I can say that
Brings us to the most simple definition of distance
Space
The vast space between Brentwood and LA
The immeasurable, unimaginable distance between the good and bad place
You can be Huck Finn if you'll let me be Jim
Best friends
From 2 worlds a solar system's distance away
I'm the slave about to be shipped to New Orleans
You're the Eagle amongst cocky chickens
But that weekend
The simple distance was closed
And we found each other on that same remote island
Of Jack in the Box
And we started on this journey together
Because when our lips finally touched, time stopped and let us cross Commitment street in the bay
And when we hit that fork in the river we were on the same raft
We went the same wrong way when we were alone in that box
And we felt the same new kind of safe with all those people watching in Jack in the Box
The mountain was never expected to go to Muhammad
But I don’t have the heart to make that journey without you
You are my heart
And how can I get over a mountain I cannot get in proximity with
How can we be close if we can’t close any of these distances?

The Misplacement and Miseducation of Generation X

What’s wrong with Gen X?

Gen X is the first major generation that were heavily effected by the Nuclear family - millions upon millions of children that were left to their own devices after school, weekends - when the single parent or both parents work, no one is there in that vital age to teach these children the more subtle and essential lessons on how to be a fully functioning adult.

So as a recovering Gen X that has had to increase his emotional age, his sense of identity as an adult, from about 13 to about 30. My parents both worked and with some help from alcoholism, neither parent was there. Repeat this millions of times over and you get a very lost generation that missed out on essential parental lessons like how to make friends, how to take care of yourself, how to feel content or how be self-motivated. Whether we blame baby boomers or not, Gen X is the first ever generation that literally had to bring themselves up as children…en mass.

Now what does this have to do with protesting and railing against the corruption? Well, Gen X (as well as Gen Y, Z and Millenials - who are all in this same non-parental boat) don’t have the skills to confidently go out there and take over the world or at least be able to stand up for what they believe - the Gen X I know and see every day, the Gen X I work with in recovery cannot and does not know how to protest, how to get worked up and have no idea how to ‘act’ on these feelings and how to organize and self-motivate.

Wanting this generation and the ones that followed to do some original thinking and acting is sad because they can barely get out of their own way, let alone care about and act upon things in our society. I am confident that down the line they will be better people (in the end) but for now, they are at their advanced ages, just starting to wake up to their own power.

But when they put it all together, they will be a force to reckon with. I just hope it’s sooner rather than later.

Poetry Practice Free Write

"In the beginning
There was me"
Because her life prior was
Constantly heading towards and end
Until it began
With one egg
One sperm
2 minutes
2 fools
And theres talking so I can't write freely
Back into my thoughts

"In the beginning
There was me"
Thighs parted to the sky
Tail bone tucked under
A young mother
9 months had finally got her to the starting line
At 10 pounds 6 ounces I kissed the scales of justice on the determining side
That is to say
I was born to make my own decisions
I am the immeasurable
I am the independent variable
And yet
I know there is no way I can be who I was that day when this all started
None
I have shed my skin more times than my 20/20 eyes have tried to stare at the sun
I have pulled out enough hairs that I have grown new follicles
I have replaced infinite possibilities with mortal mistakes and I have lost every chance somewhere in that hospital's hallways
So the beginning
Is today
Because in the beginning
There was me
And today's me is not the same as yesterday's
Too many men think they are in their prime when really all they are is them
Primed
As in annotated as a derivative of that which came before
And what came before me
Was man
Too high to care that he was on top of
Inside of
A little girl
But that little girl gave birth to a new beginning
Her chance to make things right
Which is why I got a whoopin when I tried to be left handed
Somehow that me that came prior to this beginning knew that the left side of the body is controlled by the right side of the brain
Somehow knew
That the right side of the brain controlled creativity
I somehow knew
Prior to my prime that I was supposed to write poetry
But that me did not know that poetry existed
What it could do for the soul
That me
Did not know that she had a soul that needed tending to
So she treated her thighs like tender serloins
But that me is over
Finished
Ended
And in the beginning there was me
When beginnings end there is me
Because I am what sees
With 20/20 hindsight
It's clear to me
That the beginning is nothing but a new name for the end
This is the end of this poem
The beginning of the activity of the areas of my mind this freewrite has exposed

The start.

Kanyativity: The art of bringing other ppls genius to the public eye.

So...I happen to be a HUGE Kanyè fan. I love most of his work, but recently I've been disappointed with the trends associated with him. First, I hear "Shutter-Shades" aka Kanye's are actually a popular trend that was prevalent in Chicago before the rapper/producer brought them onto the scene.

As far as the most recent feat, the Heartbreak Video, I was EXTREMELY disturbed when THIS VIDEO by a band called Chairlift was brought to my attention. I find NO originality in Kanye's work, but what I CAN say is that he brings the achievements of others to the attention of his fan base. I wish he would give more credit, but since he doesn't this is my request that we DO OUR OWN RESEARCH!!! Kanye never SAYS that these were his ideas, but the fact that he uses them and people haven't seen them before leads them to believe that it was his idea. Much like with the classic song "Killing Me Softly." Many people not only associate that song with the Fugies, but believe it is THEIR song. Even worse, they think it is Lauryn Hill's song, when in actuality it is Roberta Flack's song (and as much as I love Lauryn, I must say Roberta does it best) If you are one of the people who was unaware of this, please go look up the song, and feel free to research anything else you think is original.

I invite you to watch the making of Ryan Leslie songs such as "Gibberish" (which will be posted below) to see what REAL originality looks like. Until then, Kanye is the equivelant of the media. All publicity is good publicity, right? Keep working hard, Chairlift and other un-recognized bands. Someone like Kanye will steal ur idea and all of a sudden you'll be cool. Just be patient. The American Way will prevail!!

As promised, here's the video:::

GUEST BLOGGER IMMANUEL :-D

well people of earth;; life is likee..............bananas. its hard on the outside; but inside everyones trying to accomplish the same thing; to stay alive and live easy. or at least to me thats what the world iss. <33. the world is life; which is creatures; which are species's; which are tons of cells coexisting amongst one another; helping each other and keeping each other going; which takes time. time is centuries; decades; years; months; days; hours; seconds; millaseconds etc. and so as you can see; were all meant to be happy and peaceful. or so i believe. so what do i think about everything as a thing? i think its there. and we should leave everything there. i think that we should coexist with the natural things in life; and i am hungry, thats another thing i think. its one in the morning; and fourteen year olds are supposed to be in bed at this time. but im with my seventeen year old cousin; who accidentally seems to stay up this late regularly. but even her stomach is grrgling, as if to remind her that this is out of its ordinary bodily function. people are easy, tummys are hard. but yes, live live live live live live thats all i have to say, more like coexist coexist coexist coexist! yay(:

-Graciee. DOOD!<3 (: SmileFreshHappyFacesAtPeopleOnTheStreet.

Traffic Photo Journal

Hey there blog readers!!!

So! Heres the dealio...I spend a GREAT deal of time sitting in traffic. Even in San Fran! I seem to attract it, and I have decided that it's for a reason. The BEST reason of all time: ART!!!

So this is the beginning of what I hope can turn into a visual saga of my last few months in LA....that's right people...only 6 months left before I'm livin in New Orleans!!! YAYYYYYY!

Well until then, please tell me what you think. I'm not going to caption them because I want people to take them for what THEY see them as, un-tainted by my prejudice eye......

Enjoy:::

Old Edited Picture

I like my title images so I'm keeping them here for your peeping pleasure :-)

Much love and please keep coming through. If there's n e thing u wanna read about please request it and feel free to comment....

Thanks,
CeCe